i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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