Whod you bang
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
