So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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