i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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