I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
