I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
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E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize