Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
