I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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