he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I woke up under a house in Key West
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