everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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