I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize