You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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