Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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