we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
