I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I think we might need a safe word for this...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
