i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
