mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
