I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
