meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
