I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
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I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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