she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
