My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize