so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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