stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
