I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize