yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize