Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
