the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
