I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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