I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
