Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
