i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
whose parrot is this?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
