he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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