I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
