so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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