Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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