Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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