I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
