im holly from the hills drunk
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
