is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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