i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
