just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
