dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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