I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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