i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
