I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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