Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
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