i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
