I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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