That's when you crack a 10am beer
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
