I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
