I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
