Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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