Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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