1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
