The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize