Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
