I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
