Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
